The Trio Proves Too Much
I have turned into a blithering mess of jangled nerves. Between the parrot, Jasper my Maltese, Eddy the stray dog plus the kitty I’m catsitting, it is just too much. I’m really not sure I am sane anymore.
Getting dressed this morning I discovered the cat had climbed into one leg of my jeans. I had to drag her out. That’s hard on the fabric. She was hiding from Eddy. He has sore paws but is getting around well enough that he feels it is his duty as a dog to hound that cat until he can make her run and hide.
Eddy and Jasper are beginning to have some issues. I have no idea why but they will sit almost nose to nose and bark their brains out. Blowing doggy breath into each other’s face. Ike the parrot loves it. He’ll jump from one dog head to the other, joining right in with the barking. He is so much louder than the dogs. I’ve stopped it, using toys, treats, placing each dog in a different room, exercise. In a matter of minutes the three end up as a barking trio again. I decided to use a light spray of water to break them up. You know, give them something else to think about?
Maltese are smart. Jasper took off right away. Eddy decided the spray was fun, he opened his jaws, snapping at the water. Ike spread his wings squawking, “A bath, a bath, I’m so dirty, dirty, dirty.” When I stopped the bird called me, “Lard Butt.” Ike isn’t my bird. His owners told me if he used nasty words he was to be placed in his cage for time out.
I tried to put Ike into the cage, but he grabbed the door with one ‘foot’ and let loose with his fire alarm sound. Its the one sound that makes my teeth ache. I stepped back, still hanging onto the bird who was clinging like glue to his cage. Jasper was right behind me, I tripped over him, down went the cage, bird seed all over the floor, the parrot now sitting on my head doing his Santa, “Ho Ho Ho.” The cat had exploded, I think she was clinging to the ceiling. Eddy, never one to miss a chance at getting something to eat, was chowing down on the spilled bird seed. I noticed I was talking to myself. Not a good thing!
Jasper’s flowing mantle of silky hair was full of bird seed. I learned something new today. Static electricity makes bird seed impossible to get out. One must painstakingly vacuum the dog. Don’t forget the cat is clinging to the ceiling. With the sound of the vacuum, she’ll be trying to claw her way to the roof. Eddy was mincing around on his paws. Some of the hard bird seed was up between his sore paw pads. I found out, that when dealing with a stay like Eddy its a good thing to introduce the vacuum slowly. I was so mentally deranged by this time I thought I could vacuum his feet. Poor Eddy tried to join the cat.
Enough! The vacuum was shut off and shoved away into a corner. I sat on the floor, gathered poor ole’ sore paws to me for a nice soothing love hug. Jasper snuggled in as well. The kitty crept across the room on her belly to join us. The parrot perched on my shoulder quietly. Peace, harmony, quiet, so very nice. Much too good to last.
Eddy wanted Jaspers spot. Jasper yapped at him. That damn parrot started bouncing on my shoulder. He yapped right in the cat’s face. The cat spit at me, lurching off my lap leaving some nice claw puncture wounds in my leg. Eddy was barking now too. The trio was right back to where it started. I decided right there they had won.
I found some earplugs, shoved them into my ears as far as they’d go. I got a good book, some pillows and a flashlight, and crawled into a closet with the door shut. It is the only place in my house all four of those kids can’t get at me. I planned on staying there for a few years!
