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Archive for the ‘Cool Dog Humor’ Category
Thursday, April 17th, 2008
From astrology.com
Aries
What is it about your routine that you don't like? Go over all the small details until you figure it out. One small change, in your collar size or your route, can make a huge difference in your day.
Taurus
How can you inject some fun into your day? Try romance or courtships. Even if it's only walking past a certain someone's fence, it will spice up your routine, Taurus.
Gemini
You know how it is: It's a cozy scene with humans gathered around a nice meal, and you're under the table. Your motivation doesn't have to be misread yet again, Gemini. Let the humans know you feel like one of the pack.
Cancer
If only every day could go this smoothly. When you want out; you hardly have to whimper before the door is opened. When you're hungry, chow is thrown in your bowl. Don't get used to this good communication, though, Cancer.
Leo
It's a good idea to reign in your impulses when it comes to leaving your calling cards. Not everyone appreciates them or even reads them, so be more conservative and thrifty about the information you leave behind.
Virgo
Ah, a project has ended. But just when you think you'll have your human all to yourself again, another is started. Such is the life of a working human, Virgo, so look forward to annual leave.
Libra
If your owner can't spend time with you, you'll have to take your social calendar into your own hands. No need to be organized about it, though. All you have to do is get beyond the fence, where a dog party awaits you.
Scorpio
Should you keep a secret or spill the beans? That's a hard decision, Scorpio, but at the end of the day, you're just a blabbermouth. Communicate the best way you can, Scorpio.
Sagittarius
Some dogs love you, and others are a thorn in your side. Just ignore those, Sag, especially the ones who want to act like they have some authority over you.
Capricorn
A lot of planning has to go into the day for your owner to have fun, but for you, no forethought is necessary. The details seem to work out, especially if you can make it to the dog run.
Aquarius
You and your owner like to keep things nice and clean. But other dogs and owners have a different agenda. Don't let a cranky human lump you all in the same category, Aquarius.
Pisces
When a buddy suddenly starts acting like an alpha, it's time to put them in their place. You can figure out why they're doing it later because nipping that behavior in the bud is your first concern.
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Wednesday, April 16th, 2008
From astrology.com
Aries
Your owner is doing something to get fit, and it includes your health for a change. The gym is great, but walking you is free. Pick up the pace, Aries, and go for a jog.
Taurus
Some days are filled with fun, and some are more monotonous. You'll have one of the former, Taurus, so enjoy the good time with your canine companions. It's a dog's life, eh?
Gemini
Every time you bark, your owner lets you outside. If that's not what you had in mind, you'll have to be a bit clearer. Your humans aren't mind readers, and table scraps are the last things on their agendas.
Cancer
You know how to count on a good time most days: All you have to do is make it to the dog park. But today you need a plan. It need not be elaborate, but simply getting there won't do the trick.
Leo
Leading the pack can be a lot of fun, unless you're feeling introverted. It's one of those days, Leo. Stay in your doghouse and don't let on why.
Virgo
You're finally getting organized: leash is on the peg, collar on your neck, basket in order. Now if only you could organize your human. You can't help in that area, so you'll just have to be patient.
Libra
It's not the best time for your human to be socializing, but they could still use a good talk. Lend an ear or two, Libra. You're an excellent listener, even if you have no idea what you're hearing.
Scorpio
You and your friends should do some planning, but that kind of foresight is beyond you. You'll all be a spontaneous barking mob instead — hope there are no repercussions.
Sagittarius
Just who is in a position of authority? It's hard to say, Sag. Until you figure out who the alpha is, don't rush ahead with your plan, as hard as it is to be patient.
Capricorn
Just how can you connect with other dogs, long distance? You know how, Capricorn. Use your nose to read messages, and your you-know-what to leave them. You'll experience each other well in no time.
Aquarius
Take care, Aquarius. You know how other humans are about your business. Cover the details right away, so your human can avoid the details.
Pisces
You're forging a new relationship. Should you throw your heart and soul into it, like always? Sure, Pisces. Whether it's a kid or a senior citizen, you don't have to know them well to love them.
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Tuesday, April 15th, 2008
From astrology.com
Aries
You've come a long way. Protecting the castle used to feel like a daunting task. The front door, the back door, the windows — the details frustated you. But now it's old hat, Aries, just another mundane responsibility.
Taurus
You have a big heart. That's why you get attached to all your companions, from two legs to four. It's an endearing quality, Taurus, and one a special dog finds attractive.
Gemini
You have to come up with a simple plan. If you're brought along to run errands, get your business out of the way first. A little detail like that will make a big difference to your owner's schedule.
Cancer
If your human wants good relationships with neighbors, then they should focus on small issues, like cleaning up after you, my friend. Make it as easy as possible for them, even if it inconveniences you.
Leo
It's not impulsive, exactly, to chase birds, especially when you've had a plan in place for so long. You just have your chance, that's all. Your owner will hardly understand as they get dragged along for the ride.
Virgo
Sitting around bored all day long is no way to live, even for a dog. What are you going to do about it, Virgo? Come up with a plan. It will be easier than you think to convince your human to hire the dog walker.
Libra
Your owner left you home all day, but that doesn't mean you'll hold a grudge. You won't have time to waste. When the door opens, ah, it's time for the dog park and socializing.
Scorpio
It's a good day at the dog run, if you like to keep secrets. If you don't, you won't have quite as much fun. Do what's right, Scorpio, by doing a friend a favor.
Sagittarius
Just when some dogs learn to pipe down, others take their place. All that yapping is driving you crazy. It's time to change your route, with or without your owner's approval.
Capricorn
You'll be finding plenty of tracks, the old-fashioned way. Lucky for you, your owner will let you cover plenty of ground. You won't exactly connect with the target, but you can pretend along the way.
Aquarius
You only give the once over as a gesture of goodwill, but other dogs don't have the same agenda. If your fur goes up, you'll know there's trouble, with or without knowing why.
Pisces
Just whose rawhide is it? You won't know before you help yourself, but you'll find out later, possibly the hard way. Some dogs are not as forgiving as you are, Pisces.
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Monday, April 14th, 2008
From astrology.com
Aries
Being bored is no fun, but neither is too much excitement. Find the happy medium, Aries, by avoiding children and the elderly.
Taurus
Your friend is making new friends, and that worries you. Don't be, Taurus. Be tolerant of these new attachments, and they could help you in the next power struggle.
Gemini
Only bark at dogs who enjoy it, Gemini. That's a lesson you can't seem to learn. If you bark at the wrong pooch today, keeping it light won't help you, so put your tail between your legs and run.
Cancer
Another dog makes an extravagant gesture, but don't make too much of it, at least outwardly. Drawing it to your pack's attention is the last thing they want, so acknowledge it subtly.
Leo
You want nothing more than to be near their magnificence. You human doesn't realize how easy it is to please you, Leo, but why else would you be following them around like a puppy?
Virgo
It's good to be flexible, to a point. Don't let all the overbearing people change the way you walk with your owner. Your human votes and pays taxes, too, so put your paw down.
Libra
Being alpha is not just something you hope for, you're certain it will happen. So what if you don't have a plan? The details don't really matter, do they, Libra?
Scorpio
Money has your owner stressed out but they're too afraid to ask for a raise. Finding a new job would be even more fraught with worry, so give them the support they need to speak up. Just be your devoted self.
Sagittarius
Good fortune smiles on you again and again and again! Or are you just easy to please? Either way, the kibble is hitting the spot, with or without table scraps.
Capricorn
You thought another dog was an alpha, but they're beta to you. Now that you know, you can breathe a little easier at the dog park, but don't spill the beans.
Aquarius
Didn't they go to intruder school? Apparently not. If they had, they'd have learned not to make any sudden movements. You're hardly to blame for the mix up, but guess who'll be spending time in the laundry room?
Pisces
You're not begging — you're simply pointing out that your owner's health would be a lot better if they ate less food. It's hard, but stop inflicting your opinion on innocent humans.
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Sunday, April 13th, 2008
From astrology.com
Aries
With kids around, even the simplest actions seem like adventure. You're in on the excitement, Aries, so get ready for a great day with little ones.
Taurus
You and your packmates handle matters your own way. You don't need any owners sticking their noses in. They can save the arbitration for human matters.
Gemini
The grudge you have against intellectuals has nothing to do with their opinions and everything to do with their bodies. Let your human know that a little light debating is fine, as long as it's not done standing still.
Cancer
The treats just keep getting bigger and better! It sounds like a dream come true, but you're beginning to wonder what tricks can top the ones you've already done, as rewards get more and more extravagant.
Leo
Your owner has a certain aura, it's true, but others can't see it. Is it because you know them so well, or were you paired by fate? Your guess is as good as anyone's, Leo.
Virgo
You're the one who wants a break for a change. Your owner is busy and taking you along. Finally, you'll realize how good an average day can be when there's not much happening.
Libra
How important is a brand name? Don't be picky, Libra, or you'll let the details ruin your day. If you look at the bigger picture, you'll see all bases covered.
Scorpio
Pleasing your human has gone from being a challenge to being a big problem. Some people just don't give up the goods, Pisces, so stop performing for imaginary biscuits.
Sagittarius
A few local jaunts are fine, but you don't want your owner doing any long-distance traveling. So why are the suitcases out? Don't take too long to put two and two together, Sag.
Capricorn
Most days it's a pleasure to go out, but some days it's just plain work. Expect the worst while doing your business, and look forward to tomorrow.
Aquarius
You have fixed ideas about power struggles: You will always win. But what happens if you don't, Aquarius? Figure out how to handle meeting your match.
Pisces
You know how much your human hates all the barking, Pisces. So try to keep your opinion to yourself, no matter how obvious it is that other dogs could benefit from hearing it.
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